john . syd . 19
  • ask :)

  • I keep running away from my problems.


    You’re very good at hurting me and yet instead of hating you for it, I still adore you.

    Realization: not wanting to sleep because you don’t want to dream. Whether my dreams are good or bad, either way they tell me how shaken, and distressed I am as a person, showing me how emotional I am about a lot of aspects in my life.


    anxiety is terrible, you could be having an attack and no one would even know because it’s an inward thing. it feels like you’re malfunctioning and you can’t process your own thoughts. you get a knot in your stomach and you can’t take a full breath but outwardly you can literally just sit there and look completely normal as long as no one tries to speak to you.

    (via ashton-poops)

    i just want some sleep

    how i feel towards 2014

photography by Razvan Macavei.

When I was in a psychiatric ward there was a girl two beds away from me that used to do this. She’d do it for hours, just sitting there and rocking.
One day, I asked her why she did it. 
“Because it takes me away”
“Away from what?”
“This place”
When i started doing this on one of my therapy sessions, my shrink told me to keep doing that, because its a way to calm yourself.

ive had to stop this, because when i start i lose myself even more into a deeper train of thought.